Just Landed

An Outsider’s Perspective From The Inside

  • About Just Landed

    Just Landed is a part of the ever-expanding Blandings Media Empire.
  • Write Me

    justlanded AT blandings DOT com
  • Archives

  • Categories

Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Arnie Pulls a Kim Jong Il

Posted by anandrr on September 2, 2009

Yet again a foreign state-head with a liking for Hollywood action movies has imprisoned a citizen of the free world on what the victim claims are made-up charges. We tried to send our ex-President to rescue the poor sod, but he was unreasonably frisked and detained at the airport and never made it off the ground. The bastards! They thought of everything. Perhaps we should send Shah Rukh (his name is Khan!) to distract the prison guards with his dancing while Mr Jon sashays away to freedom.

Posted in Airlines, Business, Films, Funny, Showbiz, wtf | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pricing Win

Posted by anandrr on August 27, 2009

You can buy 1 of these for $3, or you can buy 15 of them for $42$45…$48. Are those your giant sized balls of steel, or are you just happy to see me?

Pricing Win!

Tsuya 1pcs US$ 3, Tsuya 15 pcs US$ 48

Posted in Business, Capitalism, Incentives, wtf | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Explaining Humpty Dumpty

Posted by anandrr on August 25, 2009

Today’s Hindu performs yeoman service by explaining to us the meaning of Humpty Dumpty as in the sentence,

The turmoil and discontent in the Bharatiya Janata Party deepened further on Monday as Arun Shourie, senior leader and MP, made an all-out attack on party president Rajnath Singh, calling him “Alice in Blunderland” and describing the party leadership as “Humpty Dumpty.”

Most newspapers would have left that there. Not Neena Vyas. Using that expensive education to good effect, she explains:

The reference to “Humpty Dumpty” was from Through the Looking-Glass, a sequel by Lewis Carroll to Alice in Wonderland. Just as Alice expected Humpty Dumpty to fall at any time, in the BJP, almost at all levels, leaders are expecting the “fall” of Mr. Rajnath Singh, whose tenure comes to an end in January 2010.

One might conclude that:

  1. The readers of The Hindu need to be explained references to Humpty Dumpty. They can read a newspaper that casually uses words like “turmoil” and “discontent,” but find themselves stumped with the most elementary nursery rhyme reference
  2. Neena Vyas used the most elementary trick in the high school student’s book  of filling up the paragraphs when on deadline.

One wonders why she didn’t go on to tell us that Mr Shourie smiled like a Cheshire cat throughout the interview.

Posted in Funny, Media, Newspapers | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

AM Radio Moment of Zen

Posted by anandrr on June 2, 2009

Every now and then, I have what Jon Stewart terms a moment of zen. Herewith the first in an occasional series. This was heard on my local right-wing AM radio station on my drive home yesterday. Paraphrasing:

You know that previous caller who compared Dr Tiller’s murder with Muslims killing our soldiers…he needs to realize that Dr Tiller was going to hell anyway whereas many of the soldiers are not, so there’s a real difference there.

One can only imagine Johnnie Cochran tweeting:

If the victim had a date with Say-tan

You must acquit this man.

Posted in Funny, wtf | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Shout Out to the Hindus

Posted by anandrr on January 21, 2009

Ned: Homer, God didn’t set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they [points to Ned] Christian, [points at Krusty] Jew, or [points at Apu] … miscellaneous.
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that’s super.

Homer The Heretic from The Simpsons

For far too long, the Hindus have always been an afterthought in American religious discourse. Listen to any George W Bush speech and any reference to religion will be accompanied by references to Christians, Muslims and Jews. Although as Apu says, there are over 700 million of us! Not ignored any more! In today’s speech, Obama said, “We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers,” thus making Hindus and Jews natural allies in a grand HinJew alliance.

Change has truly arrived!

Posted in Politics | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

The Story of My Experiments at a Bookstore

Posted by anandrr on December 9, 2008

Mein Kampf and Gandhi sit cheek by jowl at Gangaram's

Mein Kampf and Gandhi sit cheek by jowl at Gangaram's


There aren’t many places in the world where you’d find this incongruous placement of wares. But to most Indians Hitler is just another charismatic military general.

Posted in Bertie Heads to the Photo Shop, Literature, Shutterbug | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Mumbai Slum Fantasy, Terror Attack, What’s the Difference

Posted by anandrr on November 28, 2008

Just noticed that one of the links to my blog is from a post about the Mumbai Terror Attack. It’s a link generated automatically by WordPress based on the content of the blog or something. And it’s to my review of Slumdog Millionaire. Really! What could be more apropos to a story about a dead Greek millionaire in Mumbai?

rambling geek post about dead greek millionaire in mumbai

Posted in Funny, Geek Talk, wtf | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

It’s Funny Cause it’s True!

Posted by anandrr on November 28, 2008

This was going to be a flashback friday edition with a different art form: cartooning. Unfortunately I couldn’t unearth funny cartoons from when I was a little tyke, so we’ll go with just-because  Friday blogging.

Oh editorial cartoonists! What would we do without you? You’re always there to elicit a smile from me by reinforcing my peerless opinion with a humorous twist. Take for instance this by Tom Toles of the Washington Post:

© The Washington Post Company

Funny. Trenchant. Good stuff. So when I arrived in India and started reading The Hindu, I was expecting more of the same, except with a local flavour. Except, every time I turned to the op-ed page in The Hindu I would be greeted by a cartoon that was not funny. For instance you might see this, apropos of the sinking of the pirate ship:

© The Hindu

© The Hindu

Or even this, apropos of The Congress Party promising lower petrol prices just ahead of an election:

i© The Hindu/i

© The Hindu

I mean WTF? None of this shit is funny. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. That he was being very very funny, and I was just not seeing it. As a certified member of the smile-at-New-Yorker-cartoon-pseudo-intellectual class, this was mildly insulting. I smile at cartoons that are not funny, how dare you mock me with cartoons that even I can’t smile at? Finally this morning, we had this:

© The Hindu

© The Hindu

I mean, WTF? Since when is people being shot by terrorists funny? And that too terrorists at The Gateway of India? Seriously WTF is up with this Keshav (or Surendar, depending) the cartoonist guy? Then it struck me. He’s not drawing humorous cartoons. He’s not even offering up opinion. Instead he’s finding an abstract way to represent the news. Every day, Keshav reads the news and asks himself, how can I make this newspaper more abstruse to the average reader? Why, I’ll represent the pirates as a dragon, the Indian Navy as a ship in the distance and the tail of the dragon slowly sinking into the water in a whirlpool like swirl. That will clearly demonstrate that we are winning the war on pirates. Arrrrr!

But even if I go with the abstract representation theory, I still have no fucking idea what this means. You can go squiggly eyed at as many MOMAs as you can find, but you’ll still not be adequately prepared for the awesome abstract thought of the Keshav. Let’s see the BJP  is turning into a bullet belt that is wrapped around the bomb of terror, but it thinks it is just watering a creeper?  The creeper represents the strong hold the BJP has on terror?  Is the creeper turning into an alternate wick for the bomb? And if the creeper needs support, why does the guy have a pair of shears in his hand? WTF?

em© The Hindu/em

© The Hindu

Posted in Funny, Media, Newspapers, wtf | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Soft Bigtory of Low Expectations

Posted by anandrr on September 27, 2008

Heard on the post-debate coverage on CNN, after Wolf B. claims that McCain seemed not to know the Pakistani President’s name, pronouncing it Hardawi instead of Zardari:

GOP flack: But he got most of the vowels and consonants right.

Posted in English, Foreign Policy, Funny, Media, Politics, TV | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Psmith in the City

Posted by anandrr on September 25, 2008

The BBC is dramatising Psmith in the City. And quite excellent it is too. And all available for listening online. What greater joy than listening to:

“Aah Bickersdyke, the merchant prince of commerce. That explains your ignorance. Please Comrade, no need to apologise. In your relentless pursuit of doubloons, you have had little time to get acquainted with the rituals of summer, the sacred codes of behaviour governing perambulation and bowling screens.”
“Who are you?”
“I am Psmith, the P is silent. As should you be, Comrade. Utterly silent. After your frightful blunder.”

Thanks to Crooked Timber for telling us all about it.

Posted in Business, Capitalism, Cricket, Economics, English, Funny, Literature | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »